Manuel Adjusting to Language Barrier

PHILADELPHIA, PA— After six years as manager of the Philadelphia Phillies, Charlie Manuel is learning to adapt to English, the official language of the people of Philadelphia. Manuel recently stated that he feels comfortable expressing himself in the language, although he still struggles with plurals, singulars, vowels, and the double switch.

A recent press conference showcased Maunel’s newfound confidence, as he eschewed an interpreter and spoke for himself: “Ah, uh do, uh, buhleeve thuh Phillies are, uh, thuh teem to uh, beet this uh, year in uh, thuh eweknowlike, nah-shun-uhl leeg.”

When asked to comment, Shane Victorino launched a steam-of-consciousness rant that is still in progress.

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