The great chain reaction of ’04

I was feeling domestic and decided to make some couscous with sun-dried tomatoes–a decision that set into motion the great kitchen cupboard chain reaction of 2004.

The cupboard is a delicately balanced ecosystem, and one must use caution when re-arranging its contents. Alas, I did not take the proper safety measures, and as a result, a large jar of couscous, a bag of millet, and a beloved container of fancy peppercorn mixes fell to the floor. The lids and twist-ties were no match for the force of the impact, so all three of these round and bouncy items escaped confinement.

For a brief moment, I thought about invoking the three second rule, but then I remembered that the three second rule was debunked by some annoying high school guy as part of a science project, and even if it hadn’t been debunked, it would be impossible to get two pounds of aerodynamic foodstuffs off the floor in three seconds, and even if I could do that, there would be the unpleasant task of sorting the couscous from the millet, which I don’t really like anyway.

6 responses to “The great chain reaction of ’04”

  1. Dana

    whoever debunked the three second rule did not have kids.
    Eating dirty food is healthy–strengthens the immune system, and unless the kitchen floor is also a toilet–it’s probably no worse than what you are breathing in anyway.
    (BTW nose picking also strengthens the immune system–i shit you not, I’ll try to find a link to the study if you want, but please wash your hands before you pick the food up off the floor)

  2. Tintil

    Couscous with sun-dried tomatoes: good. Millet: bad! (Actually, I’ve never had millet – I thought it was only for budgies.)

  3. Becky

    Not only does the three-second-rule debunker not have kids–I’d guess he’s never worked in a restaurant either. Dana, why should you wash your hands before picking food up off the floor? If I understand you correctly, the best way to strengthen your immune system would be to pick your nose, get food from the floor, and then eat it.*

    * These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Medical advice on Good Grief! is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

  4. Suzette

    One of my main pre-occupations is trying to suss out restaurant and banquet hall recipes for stuff I’ve had that tastes good. The Newark Airport Sheraton once served a meal at a meeting that included a side dish of brown rice, kasha and millet all mixed together. It was dandy. I’d say the proportions were about 5 parts rice, two parts kasha and one part millet. At the time, I thought it was a highly inventive use of grains – after reading your post I have to wonder if the inspiration for it came from an incident such as yours.

  5. pam

    Dana’s right, but I can’t remember where I read the thing about nose-picking. I don’t want to read it again, either. Best to just let it become an old wive’s tale as quickly as possible.

  6. DCA

    I don’t believe in the three-second rule simply because I own a dog. First, if something I want hits the floor, I have far less than three seconds to get to it. Second, even if I do get to it before he does, it’s usually covered with enough strands of dog hair that I wind up giving it to him anyway.

    As far as strengthening the immune system goes, I’m all for that. Maybe I’ll start sharing his water dish.