stories

Mike, the homeless billionaire

Mike, the homeless billionaire

I met Mike (not his real name) in front of the main branch of the Philadelphia Free Library, where he was sitting with his shopping cart full of other peoples’ trash. “Hey,” he said, as I walked by, weighed down by shopping bags, “I’m a very rich man.”  That was the first story Mike ever […]

Consumer whore: the bulk edition

Consumer whore: the bulk edition

My first trip to BJs: Superwoman: Look!  I found my favorite jeans. Becky: They sell jeans here? [ring!] Superwoman: Hello? Sassy J [on phone]: I’m in aisle four.  Where are you? Superwoman: We’re in produce. Becky: They don’t have sweet potatoes.  Only yams.  Can we put yams in the pie? Becky: Wow, I could use […]

Published author--again!

Published author–again!

I am happy to report that the Philadelphia City Paper printed my I Love You, I Hate You rant.    In fact, this week’s edition contains several similarly-themed entries. There was also a great piece* by Agnelina Sciolla about people who “increasingly regard their politics like religion–something that suggests a certain moral superiority and which […]

Boss-across-the-hall update:  outsourced!

Boss-across-the-hall update: outsourced!

Boss-across and I recently had a very disturbing conversation: Boss-across-the-hall: Tell me again about the secret table missing from our database diagram? Becky: What secret table? BATH: The one you told me about earlier. Becky: You didn’t find it yet? I said that so you’d get out of my office. I’m busy finishing up these […]

I Love You, I Hate You: stop messing it up

I Love You, I Hate You: stop messing it up

It used to be a favorite ritual:  get up early, go to the gym, hope that the City Paper delivery guy shows up before the end of my workout, snag a paper on the way out, and read I Love You, I Hate You over a bowl of shredded cinnamon mini-wheats.  But now it’s all […]

Who wants to join my cult?

Who wants to join my cult?

According to the exercises in What Color is My Parachute, my destiny in life is to be a cult leader.  This career path has many advantages over my current position in the soulless office park: Work from home:  Through the wonders of the interweb, I can preach in my PJs. Travel:  I’ll hold quarterly cult […]