I hate you, I Love You I Hate You

What is going on with the Philadelphia City Paper’s I Love You, I Hate You? I still peruse these reader-submitted rants over cereal, but the section ain’t what it used to be. I’ve said that before, but this time I really, really mean it. Admittedly, I am biased towards the former Love/Hate editor, who ensured that all entries adhered to the word limit, threw in some recurring characters just for fun, and issued the “duck you fuckboats” proclamation every spring. I miss his work.

Also, why aren’t the Love/Hates online? Say it’s a temporary glitch, City Paper! Now I have to go to the basement, dig through the recycle bin and TYPE some very important entries that everyone should see. A few weeks ago, someone wrote the following:

N’EASTIES-
To the fugly sluts who come downtown and skank up Old City-get back to Bustleton, ladies! You’re not wanted, all you do is make nice places nasty with your tight knock-off Guess “outfits” and heinous hairdos. Yes, hairdos, only Northeast skanks “do” their hair and wear “outfits.” Stupid girls, you think you’ll come to Philly and find a man? You think you’re Philly but you’re really just embarrassing.

Last week’s paper printed a response:

RE N’EASTIES-
Listen up hipster: the Northeast is a part of Philly. It’s the part that pays our taxes and gas bills on time. I’m sorry if you’re all broken up about Northeasters entering into the sacred preserve of Center City residents, but I’m afraid you’ll have to get over yourself. We live here too, and have been making this city work since back when your skinny ass wouldn’t have been caught dead in Northern Liberties or Manyunk. So if any of us are included to drink an overpriced beer in a trendy neighborhood, then we’ll do so. You might find us “embarrassing,” but it’s your snobbery that is the true embarrassment to our shared city.

The responder makes some good points. Snobbery towards our fellow Philadelphians is silly and counterproductive and only distracts us from the real threat across the bridge.

13 responses to “I hate you, I Love You I Hate You”

  1. Terrence Ryan

    “…real threat across the bridge” ? I hope you aren’t doing some Jersey bashing there, Becky. It’s no Lancaster County, but we too are a proud people… Unless you meant those jackasses from North Jersey, in which case, carry on.

  2. EB

    Hey, Jersey bashing is a Philly tradition! And now Santorum is trying to squeeze in on our birthright.

    Just found your blog. Really enjoy it.

  3. albert

    bashing jersey… something i’ve been doing all my life as a native NYer. and upon moving to philly, i see not much is different. heh. sadly, my brother’s family has set up camp in norhtern jersey and they… like it there! horrible.

  4. Mike

    That sounds like the emails I get at my website. I have 5 pages of idiocy posted there with at least a few more pages waiting to go up. This is a great source of humor for me.

  5. Melissa

    Ahh, New Jersey. The state that makes you pay $3.00 in order to leave.

  6. Jerz E

    Philly people have the right to bash each other. City of Brotherly Love is a misnomer – we thrive on vehemently disliking our politicians, sports teams and (especially) each other.

    Many a rant against Jersey crossed the Love/Hate desk during my tenure at City Paper. As a former Jerseyan who knows the beauty of the pines and enjoys the sweet salty scents of the sand and the sea, I had mixed feelings about constant Jersey Bashing. Kids cruising Old City on Saturday nights with backwards visors and faux silver chains do not represent the state, the mall women with huge hair are (for the most part) an outdated stereotype (except in Cherry Hill, Toms River and North Jersey, ugh) and Pennsylvania’s waterways are more polluted than those of New Jersey. Not that I’m proud of that, as a full time Pennsylvanian, but I think PA has some work to do before its people can bash NJ for crimes against the environment. The strip malls and insane sprawl are an unfortunate reality that isn’t being properly addressed, but very sadly this is not a problem unique to New Jersey.

    If we really need to unite in a common cause against someone other than ourselves, I’m all for vitriolic criticism of New Yorkers. F NY!

  7. Terrence Ryan

    Jerz E That’s a really good point. I’m with you.

  8. Becky

    Oh alright, maybe we shouldn’t pick on NJ. However, I grew up with two parents who lived in North Jersey for a while and had nothing good to say about the state, so the habit of Jersey-bashing is ingrained. Also, I worked there for many years and got tired of never being able to turn left. Melissa, the toll set-up is genius–by the end of a work day, I would’ve paid $10 or more just to get out.

    Maybe we should hate Delaware? That huge “home of tax-free shopping” sign on I-95 is pretty annoying.

  9. Clair

    I think we should stop picking on NJ too. It is just too easy. I am tired of very un-funny people getting laughs just because of NJ. They should have to work for those chuckles.

  10. Becky

    Clair, are you saying the I’m unfunny? You friggin’ pretentious Lancaster Countians…oh, wait. Nevermind.

  11. Jen

    I am still pissed that City Paper never printed my ILYIHY. Haters!

  12. Type E

    Jen, keep submitting your love/hate. It’s more about timing than conent.

  13. Princess Hollywood

    How can I post my ad on I Love You, I Hate You? I tried http://www.citypaper.net/ILUIHU but got a rejection statement – no such Email. Please get back to me – accidentalredhead@comcast.net. Thank you.
    ILUIHU seems to be a less harmful and more fun way to vent than actually physically hurting someone – I say this tongue(sp?) in cheek