Friday is my last day at the soulless office park, so I’ve decided to kill off boss-across-the-hall. Sample obituaries include:
On Friday, July 15th, boss-across-the-hall was electrocuted in the soulless office park men’s room after dropping his Blackberry into the commode. A forensics team has determined that boss-across was attempting to send several e-mails, schedule a staff meeting, and negotiate with a vendor when the incident occurred. Also found at the scene was the latest issue of Sync magazine.
Or how about this?
On Friday, July 15th, boss-across-the-hall was run over in the soulless office park parking lot while testing his team’s new conference bike. Several H-O-R-S-E players witnessed the accident but were unable to save boss-across because his body had been weakened by an overdose of fish oil pills and sunflower seeds.