Guess what arrived at the soulless office park this morning? My cell phone! How is it possible for Verizon to ship a phone in less time than the average wait on their customer service hotline? It is truly amazing.
Even though I’ve only made two calls so far, I can feel radio waves and gamma waves and microwaves bouncing around in my head, killing brain cells and laying the groundwork for some horrible future illness. Dementia! Cellular babies! Lower IQ!
Luckily, I did some research and found the perfect solution: a cell phone cap that will “protect your brain from RF pollution” for the low, low price of $39.95:
Lined with a sophisticated fabric using polyester and finely spun silver coated copper fibers with extremely high reflective characteristics. The waves actually bounce off the fabric with little or no absorption and no electric discharging.
Research links RF radiation with behavioral and cellular disturbances. Many people can actually sense the differences in the levels of “mind noise” from RF radiation. Provide your brain a quiet place without interference to your mental processes from RF radiation.