The SkyMall Catalog. It’s one of the few constants in today’s uncertain airline industry. The carriers can reduce the number of blankets and take away the meals, but travelers can always count on the SkyMall Catalog, a beacon of consumer whoredom, to be waiting for them on the plane, conveniently located in the neighbor’s seat-back.
Imagine every silly catalog you’ve ever received aggregated into one lifestyle-enhancing meta-directory. Do you have problem areas in your yard? Sore calves? Insect bites? Small mailbox? The SkyMall Catalog can help!
It all makes sense at 50,000 feet. Flying is so surreal, with the constant drone, the lack of cell phone chatter, and the people in navy blue demonstrating emergency oxygen procedures before passing out little bags of peanuts, that it doesn’t seem strange to consider spending $895 on Mombasa, the eight foot tall garden giraffe. “Your neighbors are sure to be surprised when Mombasa moves in!”
SkyMall rules, though it does lose some of its luster once the plane has landed and you’re safely back to reality. Below are some fascinating items I discovered on the trip to Montana. Next week, we’ll learn about the “As Seen on TV” store.
From Femail Creations: a glow in the dark pillowcase.
By night the pillowcase glows with empowering messages like; Dream Big, Have Courage, Girls Rock.
From the Ex Officio section: insect-repellent clothing:
Protect the whole family from mosquitoes, ticks and UV rays.
BUZZ OFF Insect Shield Insect Repellant Apparel by Ex Officio is the only insect repellant clothing registered by the EPA. BUZZ OFF apparel gives you the protection of insect repellent spray without having to keep reapplying oily chemicals to your skin.
From the Diversions Catalog: Presidential figures. Collect all six!
At the push of a button, each president’s oral history comes alive with one of 25 authentic phrases in their [sic] actual voices (except for Lincoln).
Hide unsightly or problem areas in your yard with the Mock Rock. Lightweight and durable, the hollow design is a great solution to pipes, meters or landscaping problems.