Testicle Festival

cow
While traveling, it is useful to track down local publications, which provide insight into a place’s character. Last week in Montana, I picked up a copy of Fish Fables, some kind of Whitefish newsletter, and the Independent, one of those invaluable liberal rags with weekly listings and arts reviews.

Fish Fables consists of weird factoids grouped into categories such as DidJaNo and Loony Laws. For example:

  • The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903 and used a tomato can for a carburetor.
  • Beer was the first trademarked product (Bass Pale Ale).
  • You know you’ve had too much coffee when you want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.
  • In New Jersey, it’s against the law to “frown” at a police officer, it’s illegal to sell ice cream after 6 PM unless the customer has a note from his doctor, and it’s illegal to slurp soup. I hope the lovely Jersey-based Soup Lady encourages her readers not to slurp.

The Independent is similar to Philly’s City Paper and has recommendations for events not to be missed. Last week’s hot pick? The annual Testicle Festival:

By whatever name you want to call them–rocky mountain oysters, Montana tendergroin, bulls jewels, cowboy caviar, swinging beef, animelles, or bollocks–just be sure to have a ball at the annual Testicle Festival happening this week at the Rock Creek Lodge in Clinton. Now in its 22nd year, the festival, often referred to as the Testy Festy, has grown to become the largest and most famous testicle festival in North America.

17 responses to “Testicle Festival”

  1. Theresa

    I love that it’s in Clinton!

    I also love “rocky mountain oysters”. they’re good. seriously.

    hard core carnivore and farm girl.

  2. Sam

    O dear! “Testy Festy”? I think some people need a new hobby. And I think that artist responsible for that gif needs a new job.

    When we were in Erwin, TN, we picked up the local newspaper. The front page news featured a very important story…whether the town with a little over 5,000 people was considered a “city”. The residents were all aflutter over this. “Cities are bad because there is a lot of crime. Erwin is not a city, because there is no crime” were some of the quotes (paraphrased) in the article.

  3. Becky

    Heh–didn’t even pick up on Clinton when I typed that.

  4. TPB, Esq.

    Ah, yes, the lovely laws of my Garden State. Apparently, it’s also illegal to drive through schoolyards.

    Fascists!

  5. Bernard (The Beat is back)

    I think thank website is both hysterical and disturbing.

    I liked the “Featured” section at the bottom of the page.

    “As Featured in March 2004 Hustler, New Look (FR), Picture (AUS), Bizarre (UK), Time, MAXIM, Erotica, High Times, and Field and Stream.”

    I think that I am going to start subscribing to “Field and Stream”.

  6. Anonymous

    I’m confused! I have studied the pictures on the ‘Testy Festy’ site in great detail (for research purposes naturally) and there aren’t many testicles at all. There are plenty of female breasts though. Am I missing the point?

  7. Becky

    Good question…will have to study testy festy site in more detail at home. I’m still at work, and I don’t want to get in trouble with IT security dude for going to a testicle website.

  8. Becky

    Our mysterious commenter (Tintil, maybe? Tintil likes to research) is correct. If you look at testy festy pics, there’s an “adult content” warning and lots of booby pictures. And here I thought this festival was some kind of local family event. Oops.

  9. Theresa

    that doesn’t look like any party with rocky mtn oysters I ever went to. It looks like “girls gone wild”.

  10. IT Security Dude

    I’m wondering where in the world one would find an alternate Cojone Carnival, by comparison to which North America’s celebrated Testy Festy has been adjudged both small and obscure?

    I am unable to research this issue further because while I might get into trouble with myself here at work, far worse trouble would await me for viewing the wild girls and boobies at home. All they can do here is fire me. My wife, in the other hand…

  11. Dana (American Evacuee)

    My brother gives his dog “bully sticks” which are hardened bull penises (obviously removed after slaughter–GO BEEF)
    Sorry–any festival celebrating any part and parcel of any creatures genetalia is just weird.
    Don’t get me wrong, I am not OPPOSED to testicles–i often participate in a testical festival. Only it occurs behind the closed door of my bedroom (consequently also cutting down on parking problems.)

  12. Tintil

    Yes, I am the mysterious commenter – how did you know? Was it the English accent which gave me away?

  13. Becky

    Tintil, I would recognize your handwriting anywhere.

    Maybe I’m being naive, but I don’t understand how having a testicle festival in your bedroom cuts down on parking problems. Nevermind…just got it.

  14. dustbury.com

    Aw, nuts

    I’m kind of sorry I missed this; I’m sure I would have had a ball. (From Good Grief! Does this blog make my butt look big? via deblog)…

  15. joe

    Come and have a ball…..
    I have lived in Montana most of my life,just up the road from Clinton MT in Philipsburg MT. I have never been to the testy festy but from what i hear that all it is is a big drunk. i also have “studied the website” and noticed alot of female boobies. Hey if u can find away to get drunk and have fun more power to ya i guess. i have eaten rocky mountain oysters myself, since growing up on a beef ranch.
    Sincearly SPC JOSEPH H HILTUNEN BAGHDAD, IRAQ

  16. Lacie

    I LOVE FISH FABLES! i am from whitefish myself of course! Whenever me and my friends walk to dairy queen i always pick up the fish fables and i am the only one aloud to read it! I am also 14 years old! so AWESOME! just letting fish fables you guys rock! the kalidascope sucks and falls flash is even worse! FISH FABLES AWESOME

  17. sandy

    My boss, whom I think is AWESOME!, went to A Testicle Festival here in Nabraska, (South Bend) Is there something I should know???