- Lots and lots of flipped collars.
- Mesh shirts.
- Parachute pants.
- Leg warmers.
- Acid washed jeans.
I don’t know which way this stuff is flowing, but I suggest a swift crackdown at the border. Now that SARS and mad cow disease are under control, we should turn our attention to preventing the movement of legwarmers into the US.
I’m pretty sure the Patriot Act authorizes increased surveillance to ensure that the United States does not relapse into old and unflattering fashions. We should train the TSA to hand-search all luggage and recognize the early warning signs of a potential collar flipper. The drug-sniffing dogs should be able to detect chemicals used in the acid washing process. And no one should be able to enter the country without first itemizing all articles of clothing purchased in Canada.