Responding to the Citizen’s Bank Park update, Tintil says:
I hope that creature is a team mascot and not a food vendor. I’d be very cautious about touching a wiener produced by someone covered in green fur.
It’s easy to forget that this is the world wide web and not everyone knows about the Phillie Phanatic. How can the Brits not know about the Phillie Phanatic? He is not only a team mascot; he is the most genius team mascot of all time. Consider:
- The ambiguity. The Phanatic isn’t subject to the limitations of a real animal. For example, the San Diego Chicken couldn’t have been fuchsia–everyone knows that chickens aren’t fuchsia. But no one can say that a snout-nosed, 300 pound creature from the Galapagos Islands shouldn’t be green with purple eyelashes.
- The snout. Instead of a mouth, the Phanatic has a snout, mostly used for kissing. Everyone qualifies for a smooch–umps, fans, soldiers, and players on both teams.
- The tongue. As if a long snout ending in a ring of fur wasn’t funny enough, the Phanatic’s creator gave him a tongue. The mascot uses his tongue judiciously (e.g., to put a hex on the opposing pitcher).
- The belly. It’s probably a matter of time before the obesity police accuse the Phanatic of setting a bad example. His waistline may be 90 inches, but it sure is fun to see him stomach-butt the opposition and shake his booty to Hey Ya.
- The hot dog gun. Self-explanatory.